I had been captured by the man-catchers of Reinmann and Imprisoned in the capital to be held until execution. The goliath Azmodeus had been placed right alongside me in my cell for objecting for my immediate executions in the wild.
Francis Skinner unlocked our cell as part of his Jailbreak to save the people in the adjacent cell. I found my axe Balvar and another Handaxe of Dwarven make as we made our escape.
Francis released everyone that wanted to be released who wasn’t an Orc, but that did mean releasing a witch and demon.
Escaped the city in Francis’ fur trading wagon, guards were suspicious and gave us an escort to Silverbell. We killed our escort in order to escape the guard’s watch as it was only time reports of the escape reached them. We managed to find some rabbit holes, so I cooked rabbit with berry glaze for dinner.
Wrestled a half-orc
We stayed at a Wanderer’s rest inn. I managed to find the kitchens and let myself in and helped with the cooking. I also made myself a breakfast, and one for the other Dwarf and her half-orc friend, to help with her hangover.
We went deep into the tainted forest to look for the root of the problem. We were attacked by rabid squirrels, vines and vine-people and we found a cave full of something uglier and smellier than goblins. I led the way and charged the creatures head on.
We rested a night inside the cave with little issue. We found Narder, the druid, he was corrupted somehow. He killed him, he fell into a pool of blood and emerged as some weird oozing creature. We killed him again. Ishamael tried to blow up the pool of blood and failed because explosions don’t destroy pools, he got blood on me, Francis, himself and Al.
We collapsed the cave to seal off access to the pool of fallen blood. Then returned to the hunters to inform them of the corruption. Everyone who got blood on them became mutated, except for me. Ishmael became gigantically fat, Francis grew two more legs, Al mentioned he couldn’t feel pain anymore. We completed our journey to Frampt.
We took on work as festival guards, and we may need to investigate somewhere called Blackrock keep for bandits later. We were not received well in Frampt due to our mutated comrades but it could have been worse. Heinz Schiller seems to be the man in charge of Frampt and a detestable arsehole to boot, I am tolerating him in the same way I tolerated the humans in the mines, barely but politely… this is nothing new to me.
During our time as festival guards a runaway wagon came careening in through the gates of the town, headed for the festival tent. I made my way toward it, placing myself between it and the tent. I noticed Al trying to calm the horses, the driver had been shot and was unable to establish any control. I hunkered down and braced myself to grab the front left wagon wheel. I tore the wheel from it’s axle and despite the impact managed to stay standing. The cart came crashing to a halt, but didn’t get too close to the festival tent. Heinz ordered us to clean up the mess but at least acknowledged it could have been worse.
When I got back to the festival tent I noticed two groups eyeing each other up. I’m no stranger to conflict so I recognised the potential for this to escalate so I remained near the two families. Through eavesdropping I learned they were the Carmello and Tortilla families. Later on that evening we were drinking in the Dancing Dragon and one of the Carmello’s comes crashing into the tavern, spouting something about a wagon being attacked by bandits at the gate. Something was off with it but Stephen went to investigate anyway. As soon as he left the Carmellos barred the door and attacked the Tortillas. I pulled some knife-wielding thug off one of the Tortillas and told him to either bring two knives and make it a fair fight, or to not bother at all; I don’t think he heard me as he was saying something about his hand hurting. I let go and he dropped his knife, I handed the knife to the Tortilla he was attacking as the Carmellos were scattering. Turns out the Tortilla was Luigi Tortilla who went on about owing me a favour, I told him I likely wouldn’t be in Silverbell any time soon but I’d keep it in mind.
We got the all clear to investigate the keep, we left in the middle of the night and along the way we encountered a Slayer. Geddi Ironhead who seemed to believe Heinz to be a sheep fucking man or low moral standing. I knew the slayer would not speak of what caused him to take the oath, but a slayer has no reason to lie. We discussed Blackrock Keep with the Slayer and he didn’t seem to like the conversation. He seemed determined to continue screaming obscenities at the gate so we left him and moved on.
When we arrived at the keep we noted there were three cloaks hung up, and stairs leading down. As we entered the basement we were ambushed. I managed to carve through a creature with a dog head, a man who looked normal, a half fish bastard and eventually reach a two-tongued streak of piss who had thrown lightning at me. He tried to run but I got my arm around his neck and dragged him back to the group under threat of squeezing. He was willing to talk, as was a face that was on the normal looking man’s stomach.
We understood that someone in Frampt was sending people to them to be ambushed, killed, and their bodies sold back to the town. Made sense to me that Heinz could use the bodies as pig feed, and Wilf could sell their belongings in his store. Also saved Heinz the hassle of having to pay us. The magical mutant teleported away when Valin attempted to execute him.
I suggested we wait out the day and a night, based on the logic that the people at the town are either expecting us to return, or the mutants to return our bodies. Neither happening may cause confusion and entice them into making a mistake. During the night, someone came looking into the keep, and we set out to capture them, but they fled immediately, making for a horse and riding back to Frampt.
We returned to Frampt, and we found Manfred, informing him of our suspicions and asking for his help to investigate. He inspected the trap we had brought, the bodies of the mutants, and was able to discover that Wilf had ridden his horse late last night. We looked at a map of the town and realised that Heinz’s sausage place was adjacent to the external wall, so there may be a secret door for smuggling (as the mutants we questioned.
When we got there we couldn’t see it at first and some mercenary questioned our presence and ran off to get Heinz. Manfred used some sort of dust and found the outline of a secret door. I proposed a plan of thorough investigation, and by that I mean I starting swinging my axe at the bloody thing and entered, much to the dismay of what I could only assume was a tour group currently mid-tour.
Chaos and fuckery. Killed the mutant Heinz by jumping through the fourth floor window of a burning building, dropping 50 foot and carving a large enough hole for the swallowed Al to slide out of, who then finished it off with a radiant blast.
I was not there, but will add some Geddi notes.
In Ringfield I bought an axe from a Half-Orc blacksmith named Conga. He told me it was a Berserker’s axe, and he had spent a long time living amongst Barbarians and fuelled the axe with their rage. He wanted the black dagger that we had found in the jail, along with thirteen hundred gold. Using a bottle of fine wine from the Dancing Dragon we negotiated, and by giving him a second bottle we settled on eight hundred gold pieces. I also bought some additional masonry tools.
We set out to explore the source of the drought, we found that a Dam had been built with wood and webbing, and Francis was able to track footprints back to a boulder. The boulder was obviously fake and pretty light, so it was tossed aside and we descended into the depths. My mind was locked onto the idea of Drow due to the use of webbing and the underground lair. When we eventually reached the depths we had to walk through a narrow tunnel for a couple of hours. A door awaited us, and Francis claimed the strange words above it were elvish, and read “There is no shadow in the Underdark” he was able to talk the door open somehow and we entered.
Inside we could hear conversation on the other side of a door, we opened the door and two dark skinned Elven guards began to shout at us, I nudged Francis and told him to speak Elf at them, this seemed to make them angrier. So I got angrier too, really angry, damn near the angriest I’ve been, well, at least since we’d escaped the prison. Afterwards it all came back to me kind of slowly, but I believe the two had sounded an alarm before I managed to deal each of them a grievous wound with my new axe. I left them spluttering for my allies to finish off, and moved on to three new elves who were responding to the alarm, one of which was obviously a captain or something, each of whom felt my axe. I blacked out and awoke with an Elf over me and Francis holding an empty vial of health potion, as I stood I cleft the last drow in twain and buried my axe deep inside a spider who was dangerously close to our new ally, Lander; he seemed to drag the creatures shadow out of it and it stopped twitching.
We pressed on and found some sort of Alchemist’s lab with some sort of wand-slinging coward in it. I remember the sharp pain of magical force, and shortly thereafter I have an image of the bastard bringing up half a dozen illusory copies of himself, it only took one swing of my shiny new axe to turn the original wizard into an asymmetrical pair though. The next thing I know I’m alone in the room, sliding through some grease into a closed door. Gathering myself and wiping off the grease knocked and told my allies the Wizard was dead and it was safe to enter. I wonder why they were so afraid of one poncy mage.